#172 - When You Care Enough to Make the Very Best

Making My Own Valentine's Day Cards

Valentine's Day is just around the corner... in fact, it's only two days away, gentlemen. So if you're gonna do something sweet for your sweetie, you need to get your ass in gear NOW. We ladies have been done for several days now.

And don't think that the pathetic, crinkled, leftover card, the mismatched, too-large envelope and the Whitman's Sampler you're gonna pick up at Walgreens on your way home from work Thursday is gonna pass muster.

It's almost like I'm psychic, isn't it?

Well never fear, Burbanmom's gotcha covered. Here's what you do: Grab some paper and a pen and write her a love letter. Sound simple? It is. And your [wife/girlfriend/mistress/sig ot/life partner/stalking victim] will treasure it more than any Hallmark you could ever purchase.

You don't have to be a poet, either. Just keep it simple, honest and from the heart. Tell her how beautiful she is, tell her how smart she is, tell her how having her in your life makes you happier than you ever thought possible. But most of all, tell her that you love her more every day.

If all that doesn't work, tell her you saved $4.95 on a card. That's sure to impress her.

Happy Almost Valentines Day!

PS... yes, that's the actual card I made for hubby for Valentine's Day. Eat your heart out, Vera. ;-)

Santa Came!

And other double entendres.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday today - I sure did!

The kids loved almost all of their presents. Santa apparently pulled a bonehead move and tried to sneak some educational toys into Ethan's stash. The boy declared them "boring" and tossed them aside like an empty bottle of Stolichnaya.

But most of the toys were a hit! Ethan LOVED his new "big boy bike" and spent most of the day riding it in circles around the house. Daphne happily played with her doll house and her tea set (oddly enough, I have no moral objections to buying actual china from China - why is that?).

Hubby got his sports shirts, several books, an i-Pod car adapter and a radio-controlled dragonfly. Him, not so much with the green gift getting. And I try not to push my greenness on anyone who I hadn't actually given birth to. But the kids? Sucks to be them - I feel they owe me for the whole nine months and the labor thing.

I got my toaster oven and smart strip (although hubby is already to rip that sucker out of the wall -- it takes the cable box a full minute to reboot and he just doesn't have that kind of patience). I also got a couple of surprises including the new Richard Russo book (one of my favorite authors) and Stephen Colbert's "I Am America (And So Can You!)".

Somewhere in between the tea parties, dragonfly dodging, bicycle pushing and packing for our trip, I managed to devour that Colbert book. It is HYSTERICAL and I found myself laughing, guffawing, chuckling, chortling and snorting the whole way through it. It is most definitely worthy of the standard "uproariously funny" review given to such literature. I uproared at least six times reading it.

The kids never got dressed and hubby and I spent the whole day in our sweats. We ate mini-chocolate bars and Santa's leftover cookies most of the day. Our Christmas dinner was home-made pizza and root beer. It's kind of like "To Hell With Personal Hygiene Day" but with a dash of "To Hell With Proper Nutrition" thrown in for good measure.

Well, I'll probably be offline for a couple of days here, so have a great one, friends. I'll catch up with you sometime around the New Year!

Vacation - Day Three

Happy Friday to You and Happy Birthday to My Sister, Shannon!

Woohoo! This is hubby's last day at work then he's off for ten whole days! Hopefully he'll survive his time with me and the kids!

Today is kind of a boring day. I wish we were up north and I could take my big sis out to lunch, but instead we have to take the old minivan in to the dealer. The rear seat needs to be unjammed (I'm guessing there's a plastic McDonald's toy wedged in the mechanism) and have a weird noise checked out. Nothing is more fun than sitting in a dealership for an hour or two with a couple of squirmy toddlers. Wish me luck.

Since we'll be half way down there, we might hit the big fabric store to pick up some fleece or flannel for some draft dodgers (the energy-saving type, not the President Bush kind). I also want to grab some bias tape to play with. I tried using it on an art apron I made last week for Daphne and I really like how easy it is to use! And Ethan and Daphne will both find a "project" there, I'm sure.

Am I boring you yet?

Well, if you're looking for a craft to do this week while you're on vacation -- I have found one for you! And it's not boring at all -- it is SO COOL! Fellow blogger Vera just made a Memory Game for her nephew for Christmas and you have GOT to check it out! I wish I had seen this six months ago, since that's how long it would take ME to make one. However, I just might start working on one for next year. It is hands down the coolest home-made gift for a toddler that I have ever seen!

Have a Fun Friday! Especially if it's your birthday! :-)

Vacation - Day Two

Cement, Gingerbread Men and Sanity

We did another craft today. This is Daddy's "Big Present" from the kiddos. He wanted a sundial, but the kids didn't want to clutter their beautiful design with numbers and a stick, so he's getting a very colorful stepping stone instead. They had a load of fun decorating it together, as you can see. The only problem arose at the end of the project when I caught Daphne licking her fingers off and saying "mmmmmmm, cookie!". Oh well, I'm sure she's ingested worse.

Anyhow, the kit had some templates for various designs you could make. Can you tell what ours is?

That's right. It's an airplane.

We also made gingerbread cookies today. That's always a load of fun. Here's how that went down...

The cookies are quite tasty and it was actually less messy than last year:

Apparently, it was less dangerous too, as Ethan felt secure enough to skip the safety goggles this time around.

We've also watched Frosty the Snowman (twice) and played Candyland about 1,000,000,001 times. Maybe more.

But they will only be young once. I have only so many years of them wanting to do these things. Before I know it, they will no longer think it's fun to play in dirt, have flour fights, eat cookies till you puke, and play board games that only require knowledge of seven colors and various sweets. Or at least, they'll no longer think it's fun to do these things with me.

Now, lest you begin to think I'm June Cleaver or Mary Poppins, let me assure you I am not. By 2:00 pm my left eye is twitchy and I'm starting to wish I had a pack of cigarettes hidden somewhere. Not because my kids are annoying, but because they are toddlers. They are demanding of my time, messy as hell and don't get the concept of wiping either their noses or their butts.

And so, every day at 2pm sharp, I take an hour of guilty indulgence and actually make them sit on the couch and watch a movie - sans Mommy. Not because I believe the television should be used as a babysitter, but because Mommy needs some time to regroup. To sit around and be accountable to no one but me. At 3pm I'll be back on snot-wiping duty, but for now I can read my email, update my blog or just surf the internet.

Now if the dog would just make up her mind about which side of the friggin door she wants to be on, maybe I could relax!!!

Day 132 - Shut 'Er Down

Shutting Down the House When On Vacation

I thought I had pretty much covered all my Green Holiday Plans but then today I was scheduling our Christmas trip and realized I hadn't talked about shutting down the house. It's something that I mean to do every time we go on vacation, but I never actually get around to it. This is because by the time we're ready to go, I've whipped myself into a minivan-packing, mapquest-printing, reservation-checking frenzy and have forgotten all about my side job as an eco-maniac. But, after giving it much thought, I think I have come up with a solution:

The Checklist.

Because there's nothing an obsessive-compulsive, ex-bean counting Mommy loves more than a nice excel spreadsheet with checkboxes. Oohhhh, be still my heart. Here's what's on my sheet:

• Turn Water Heater Down
• Set Thermostat to 50 degrees
• Unplug TV/DVD/Cable Box
• Shut off All the Lights
• Unplug Laptop and Printer
• Unplug Coffee Pot
• Close all Drapes (to keep the heat in)
• Close Upstairs Vents
• Shut all Upstairs Door (to keep the heat downstairs where the lone thermostat sits)
• Unplug Alarm Clocks

So what do you think? Is there anything I missed? Probably, but just remember the first two items will put me leaps and bounds ahead of what I had previously been doing - which was nothing. Plus, did I mention I have CHECKBOXES on my sheet?

Savings:

Gonna have to WAG this one again and guesstimate a daily savings of 2 Ccf per day (depending on the exterior temperature). Our holiday vacation will be five days this year, for a monthly savings of 10 Ccf. I'd also guesstimate approximately 8 kWh per day (compared to what I would have used if I hadn't unplugged stuff), for a total vacation savings of 40 kWh.

Difficulty Level: 3 out of 5

It's definitely a bit of a hassle. I mean, the last thing you want to do when the kids are all hyped up and hubby is itching to hit the road is to take five minutes to go through a checklist. But you know what -- it's FIVE MINUTES. They can wait five minutes. Who knows, maybe they'll do something constructive with the time, like use it to go pee before we get in the car for ten hours. Besides -- there are checkboxes, people.

Supplemental Post - Charity Starts At Home

Helping Those Less Fortunate This Holiday Season

I think my plans for ensuring an environmentally friendly holiday are pretty much set, but I just wanted to remind everyone out there to give a little something back. Not that you all wouldn't, but sometimes we get so caught up in our own holiday plans that we simply forget about helping those less fortunate.

Next week almost all of us will be sitting down to a great feast and counting our blessings. Think about how lucky you are to live in a part of the world where clean drinking water is readily available, food is bountiful and shelter is obtainable for nearly everyone.

Please, before the shopping and cooking of Thanksgiving get started; Before the relatives arrive and the arguments start; Before Black Friday and Cyber Monday are upon us; Before you put up that fake plastic tree with the long silver icicles; Please, take a moment to locate a program in your area that provides meals, toys, coats, or simply your time to those in need. It will be the best gift you give yourself this holiday season.

And before I get caught up in all the hullaballoo, I want to be sure to give you my best for a safe, healthy and happy holiday season. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukka, Kwanzaa, Yule, or a 'Festivus for the Rest Of Us', I wish you many blessings.


Please send candy canes.


- Erin

Day 121 - Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad

Setting Rules for My Childrens' Presents

Yes, this is yet another post about how I plan on greening up the holiday season.

I'm almost finished planning my "Green Christmas". It is now time to set some ground rules for what I can or cannot purchase for my kids. I want their gifts to be fun and engaging, but they must also be relatively eco-friendly.

No, I won't be giving them biobags and recycled toilet paper, but I won't be getting them Transformers and TMX Elmos either. And, since I have already determined that I can give only twelve gifts to each child, I want to make sure that every present is a perfect fit.


Therefore, I have decided to set the following criteria for purchases and each gift must meet at least two out of these three standards. Because, as Meatloaf taught us, two out three ain't bad.

1. The gift must be made out of a renewable resource. (NO PLASTICRAP)
2. The gift must be made in the USA to avoid the whole shipping-pollution issue.
3. The gift must foster or otherwise promote good stewardship or love of the outdoors.

Of course, if I feel that Daphne just CANNOT be denied a Baby Alive, I can get her one -- as long as I buy it second-hand. That is my 'get out of jail free card'.

I've already started compiling a list, based, not on what Toys R Us has told me is "hot this season", but on my childs' actual interests. So far, I have:

For Ethan (4 years old):

• A Bicycle (#2 & #3)
• Piggy Bank (#1 & #2)
• Worm, Bug or Other Critter Habitat (#2 & #3)
• Seeds, Dirt & Terra Cotta Planters (#1, #2 & #3) -- Believe it or not, he's ASKED for this!
• Slippers (#2 & #3 -- I've reprogrammed the thermostat and it's really cold in the house!)
• Tom & Jerry DVD (Used)
• Memory Card Game (#1 & #2)

For Daphne (2 1/2 ):

• A Dollhouse (#1 & #2)
• Dollhouse Furniture (#1 & #2)
• Piggy Bank (#1 & #2)
• Slippers (#2 & #3 - BRRRRRR)
• Hello Kitty DVD (Used)
• Wooden Musical Instruments (#1 & #2) (yeah, I think I'll add "earplugs" to my wishlist)

So as you can see, it's really not that hard to pick environmentally friendly presents. I mean, really, plasticrap just entered the scene a generation or two ago and little children have been given toys for millenia! The trick is to make sure the presents you give won't last for a millenium in the landfill. Because the kids may want them, they may need them, but there ain't no way they're ever gonna compost them!

Day 118 - Dear Santa

Creating an Eco-Friendly Wish List

This is yet another post about How I'm Planning to Green Up My Holiday Season.

We all know it's better to give than receive, but we're gonna talk about my wish list before we handle the gift list. After all, mine is relatively short and I already have it made out. (Trying my best to stick to The Compact has helped me to differentiate between items I truly want or need vs. the desires du jour.)

I have only one criteria for the items on my list. They must all, in one way or another, help me to further reduce my ecological footprint. I know, I know, it's an oxymoron to say I'm going to BUY things to REDUCE my footprint. I know this. I live this. I preach this. Hubby does not. If I tell him that I don't want anything for Christmas, he will go out and buy me something that eats baby seals, drinks petroleum and farts methane. It will be payback for not being more specific.

And speaking of specific, you should know that hubby and I don't beat around the bush when it comes to "wish lists". We know our spending caps and we each create our own List of Demands. Not only do we name names, but we give model numbers and manufactured suggested retail price. Should there be any error in our estimations, it is assumed that monetary surpluses will go towards chocolate or Starbucks gift cards. That's just how we roll.

So, back to me and my list:

1. An Oster Toaster Oven - Surprisingly eco-friendly -- Once you get over the fact that it's partially made of plastic. This little appliance, which draws only 1500 watts, will keep me from having to use the full size, energy-sucking 5,000 watt oven at least twice a week. Also, Oster manufactures in the USA so I don't have to worry about the import issue.

2. A Drying Rack - Did I tell you that I can't hang a clothesline here? HOA rules only allow us to put a clothesline in an area of our property where it would sit directly in the shade of the pine trees. It's not worth ruining all my clothes with pine sap, just to avoid the dryer use. However, with a small drying rack I could air-dry all my winter sweaters, thereby reducing my energy use AND making my sweaters last longer.

3. A Smart Strip - Have you heard about these? Ten outlets work together, autoswitching your devices on/off automatically, to save you money on your electric bills. I could plug our TV, DVD and cable box into this power strip. Then, whenever the TV is turned off, all the other items are automatically turned off too.

4. Slippers - Keep my tootsies warm while I've got the thermostat turned down.

5. A Big Cast Iron or Stainless Steel Skillet - I want to get rid of our jumbo-sized non-stick skillet before it starts to flake off teflon into our food. It may not be 100% about the environment, but it's definitely better for me and my family.


That's it folks. There is nothing else I really want and hubby should be able to get all this for under $200. He would actually move UP on my list if he could find all these items used, but I'm pretty sure he'll just head straight for Amazon. Especially if I email him the list and provide the links.


Savings:

Each of these items will help me to reduce my impact. I won't pretend that the initial purchase isn't damaging -- it sure is. Especially if it comes packaged in Styrofoam or plastic wrapping. But again, Hubby will not let me get escape the holiday season without presents, and, let's face it, I'm not that big of a martyr.


Difficulty Level: 1 out of 5

Nothing difficult about this at all. It's a freakin' list of gifts I'm requesting - How could that possibly be difficult? Now, if Hubby doesn't follow the list, then there'll be some difficulty!

Day 117 - Laying My Cards on The Table

Deciding Whether Or Not To Mail Out Christmas Cards

This post is all part of my plan to make my holidays more eco-friendly.

To Send or Not to Send? That is the Question. Is it nobler to acknowledge our family and friends or the environment? This is a tough one for me.

I started sending out Christmas Cards about five years ago and it quickly became a cherished holiday tradition for me. I love picking out the cards, writing personal notes to family and friends, including pictures of the kids and hand-addressing the envelopes. But suddenly I find my wonderful tradition to be in direct conflict with my new environmental awareness. So what do I do?


Here are my alternatives I see them:

1. Don't send any cards at all - This is obviously THE most eco-friendly solution out there, but it is also the biggest joy-suck.

2. Send e-cards - Ugh. Really? I don't think I even want to consider this one. Even I have my "klassy" limits.

3. Send cards made from recycled paper and soy inks - This still requires resources (albeit partially recycled ones) and there's no guarantee that the recipient will, in turn, recycle my card. However, it does give me the warm fuzzy holiday feeling I'm yearning for. Bonus points if I choose a company that donates a portion of my purchase to an environmental cause.

4. Environment be damned and I'll send whatever card I like. - There is a hysterical card that vistaprint is offering this year which shows the merry old sleigh loaded and ready to go, with a reindeer, a polar bear and a penguin hooked up to the leads. Santa is sitting at the reins reading "An Introduction to Hybrid Power". Who would NOT want to send that card?!?!


I really am undecided on this one folks. Help a green girl out, would ya? Tell me what YOU are planning on doing this year as well as what you think I should do. I will then, in the tradition of great women everywhere, ignore your advice and do whatever the hell I want.


- Erin

Day 115 - Deck The Halls

Environmentally-friendly Holiday Decorations

For those of you who might have missed my post last week, I am attempting to plan an eco-friendly holiday season this year.

Each year I seem to find some new holiday-themed knick-knacks or decorations that I absolutely cannot live without. I buy them with wanton disregard for how they are made, what they are made of and where they come from.

As a general rule, these sparkly little chotchkies are plastic-based crap made in polluting factories then cargo-shipped from China to be sold at Wal-Mart. They may be fake (sorry, "faux") pine boughs glued to a styrofoam wreath, big plastic letters wrapped in velvet that spell out nonsensical words when rearranged by hubby, or a giant inflatable Santa in a globe with swirling polyethelyne snow beads.

I love them all.

But, I will no longer be purchasing any of this lame-ass crap. None of it. No matter how sparkly it is. And to ensure that I don't, I have developed the following plan:

1. I will make do with the decorations I already have.


2. I will create my own lame-ass decorations with my children.


3. And, if a moment of weakness does arrive, I will purchase hand-crafted decorations made from sustainable materials and produced by local artisans.

Of course, that artisan stuff is usually pretty pricey, so I'll probably just stick with the first two options. I may no longer be tacky, but I'm still cheap.

Savings:

Based on previous years' experience, I would guesstimate that I will be saving approximately 8-10 pounds of pure crap and all the CO2 pollution that comes with it.

Difficulty Level: 2 out of 5

The trick with this is to STAY THE HELL OUT OF WAL-MART AND TARGET! If I don't see it, I won't want it. God help me if I end up needed underwear, method handsoap or giant bags of candy though.

Day 114 - The Gifts That Keep On Giving

Giving Pre-Owned Gifts

Nobody wants to get a "used" present, but who wouldn't love a nice, vintage, pre-owned gift? Hey, if the fancy, hyphenated wording gets us to buy cars and old clothing, won't it work for children's toys too? This is one of the ways I will be greening up my Christmas. It's all part of my plan to create an environmentally friendly holiday season.

Not all the gifts I give will be pre-owned, but this will be my "get out of jail free" or rather, my "give plastic crap from China without guilt" card. Of course I will avoid any recalled items, but other than that I will be allowed to buy as many used items as my budget will allow.

I already know of one pre-owned gift I'll be giving. The recipient is my very discerning nephew, who will be all of 11 months old this Christmas. He's a very happy-go-lucky little fella and I'm sure he'll be pleased as punch to get one of Daphne's hand-me-down toys.

I'm also sure his mom will be pleased -- since I'm not spending any money on new toys, he will receive the full $50 gift allotment straight into his 529 college savings plan. Hey, we've only got a few years to get away with this kind of trickery before the youngin's wise up. Might as well work it while we can.

I am so grateful that I have the kind of family that is not hung up on "new stuff" and is happy to oblige me and my green-ness. They geniunely prefer homemade to store-bought and wholeheartedly believe that it is, in fact, the thought that counts. They also agree that a pre-owned toy is just as good as a new one -- better, in fact, since someone else has already wrenched it from the packaging with the jaws of life.

So thank you, dear family, for being as green as a Christmas wreath and as sweet as eggnog (made from organic sugar, free-range-hen-laid eggs and locally-produced, happy-cow milk) You guys rock!


Savings:

I'll definitely be saving a lot of money on these toys! I'll also be saving the energy that would have been required to make and ship the original toy, plus the packaging. I've said it before but it bears repeating -- one of the easiest and most effective ways to have a positive impact on our planet is to simply reuse our existing items.


Difficulty Level: 3 out of 5

It's not a difficult task, but it is a difficult stigma that we all need to just get over, myself included. "New" is not synonymous with "better" and "used" does not necessarily mean "used up".

Day 112 - Gobble Gobble!

Planning an Eco-Friendly Thanksgiving Meal

With Thanksgiving less than three weeks away, it's time to start planning the menu. I want to try to make it as environmentally friendly as possible, while still including all of the traditional family dishes.

The piece de la resistance will be the bird, of course. We will be eating a big turkey, probably 16 pounds or so. I would love to get a free range bird from a local farm but it's just not in the cards. Hubby's employer always buys everyone in the company a turkey for Thanksgiving and it would be considered very rude of us not to take it. I will gladly accept the free bird in the spirit in which it is given and be thankful that dh works for a great company with such a kind-hearted boss.

That leaves stuffing, mashed potatoes, winter squash, green bean casserole, rolls, gravy, corn, beverages and pies. Let's attack each item seperately:

I use my Dad's awesome stuffing recipe which is a combination of stale bread, breakfast sausage, celery, onion, chicken broth and spices. I could easily make my own bread, but I will instead take all the "leftover" breads in the freezers and dry them - thereby ensuring they get used rather than tossed out the next time I clean the freezer. For the sausage, I will start looking for an eco-friendly source this week. The celery and onion will both be purchased from the farm stand and I will make the broth myself. I wish I had a spice garden of my own, but I don't, so I will use the spices that are already in my cupboard.

The potatoes and winter squash can also be purchased from the market, but I'm not sure about the green beans. I will check this week to see if they still have some. If not, I might just forget the casserole, as I have no idea how to make my own condensed mushroom soup anyhow!

The rolls and gravy I will make from scratch on Thanksgiving.

Corn. Hmmmmm. I really wish I had purchased a few extra ears this summer and frozen them for just such an occasion. Hindsight being 20/20 and all, I guess the best I can do is buy a can of corn and make a mental note for next year. You can't NOT have corn if you have gravy and potatoes. It's un-American and, quite possibly, illegal.

Beverages are easy. I already purchase local, organic milk in reusable glass containers. I will also offer up some local cider and wine for those who prefer something sweet with dinner. If none of those work, I've always got lots of bottled water. JOKING -- Just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

Desserts? Get me. I'm going to try to make a pumpkin pie from..... a pumpkin! No shit! I hear it can be done and Ethan said he would even try it if I managed to not screw it up. I'll also get some local apples and make a nice apple crisp for hubby. It's his favorite.


Savings:

Not much, really. I'll be trying to serve as many local, seasonal foods as possible so the food miles will be a bit lower than they would have otherwise been. And if I do need to purchase something out of season or canned/frozen, I'll be sure to buy organic.


Difficulty Level: 2 out of 5

Wow, this was easier than I thought it would be. The only to-do's on my list are to find an eco-friendly breakfast sausage and see what's still coming in to the farm stand. Of course, making all these items from scratch, instead of just opening cans and jars will be a bit more work. But when you're surrounded by family and counting your blessings, it's hard to bitch about stirring gravy.

Day 110 - Ixnay on the Apwray

No Wrapping Paper This Year

Before I start the post, is it just me or does Blogger seem to change the paragraphs on everyone else out there too? I mean, I can have all my paragraph spacing the way I want it, hit "Publish" and BOOM! Suddenly I have about 37 carriage returns

between

each

thought.

Except today when it decided to squishallmyparagraphstogetherlikeonebigrunonsentence,similartothisonerighthere.

Rant over, posting starts here.

OK, continue with my Holiday Plan, this year I will not purchase any gift wrap for the presents I buy. Instead I will:

1. Reuse the gift bags I currently have
2. Reuse the tissue paper stash I have
3. Wrap in comics (for gift giving at home, so I know it will be recycled)
4. Sew up Gift Bags
5. Make bows out of real ribbons that can be reused

Personally, I've always done #1 and #2, not because I've always been eco-conscious, but because I've always been cheap.

I used to do #3 when I was a kid and I'm sure my kids will like it too. I need to start saving those comics now though, to make sure I have enough.

I've done #4 a couple of times with hard-to-wrap items and it's really quite a simple task. It helps that I sew for a meager living and have all the tools and materials already handy.

#5 will be tricky for me, though. I've never been a good bow-tier (that doesn't look like "Tie-Er", which is what I mean to say, not "tier" like a wedding cake layer). Anyhow, I'm going to stop by Michaels and see if one of those crafty ladies will show me how to make a fancy bow.


Savings:

If I remember correctly, last year we stuffed two 13 gallon trash bags with wrapping paper, gift tags, bows and other miscellaneous trimmings. This year, I hope to cut that number in half. At least in half.


Difficulty Level: 2 out of 5

Knowing that I'll have to be creative in my wrapping, and possibly have to sew gift bags, I think I will be more motivated to keep the shear number of gifts to a minimum! Good for the earth, good for the cheapskate's wallet.

Day 109 - Oh Christmas Tree!

Deciding on an Eco-Friendly Holiday Tree

First item on "The Plan" is the tree. Not because it is the centerpiece of the holidays (although it is) but because it is the easiest decision to make. And I have chosen:

[drumroll...............]

A giant, fake, plastic, imported tree covered with tiny, energy-sucking lightbulbs!

Tada! Wasn't that easy and oh so eco-friendly?

It's not? Are you sure?

I'm pretty sure this is the most eco-friendly choice for me and here's why: I already own the damn thing and it's sitting up in my attic.

One of the easiest ways for me to check the green-ness of any of my ideas is to start with the question: "will this cost me anything?". If the answer is "Yes", I can be 95% assured that it has some sort of NEW impact on the environment. However, if it is something I already own, then the damage has already been done and the best I can do is take good care of it and use it well. Which is what I'm going to do with my seven foot fake plastic tree.

Will my friends that know about my green conversion give me a ration of shit for having a petro-based, lead paint covered tree made by starving 5 year olds in a foreign country? You betcha! They wouldn't be my friends if they didn't. But you know, throwing out a perfectly good fake tree in lieu of a potted evergreen would simply be giving the appearance of being eco-friendly. And that is not what this is about.

I will make one improvement over last year, though. I will take my auto timer (which I already own!) and plug the tree into it so that it is only lit from 6pm - 9pm each night.

Savings:

No new environmental impact, save the minimal energy used for the lights.

Difficulty Level: 1 out of 5

Very simple concept, however pulling the damn thing down out of the attic and scaring all the spiders out of the branches is always a yuletide bitch.