#195 - Caf-feined or Foe?

Doing a Total 180 on Yesterday's Post

Wow. Am I the worst environmentalist or what? I've apparently taken "lazy" to a new extreme and have decided that brain power is just too much work. I got called on my post yesterday for it's high "DUH" factor. And I wasn't undone by some really obscure study done on the affects of embryonic sperm whales in Scandinavia. I got hit with Wikipedia. The "How The Whole Fruckin' World Works for Dummies"

You may recall (if you're not on vicadin) that my post yesterday was all about how I was going to switch to decaffeinated beverages in an attempt to remove caffeine from our streams and rivers. Luckily for me, my friend Leslie quickly pointed out that decaffeinated beverages don't magically grow that way, they are processed that way. And in during that process, where does the caffeine go? Well it's not the land of faeries and nimps as you might have guessed. No sir, it gets washed away into streams and rivers.

I'm chalking this monumental brain fart up to "low caffeine levels" and, in an effort to be less stupid, I will continue to drink my high-test coffee. I will just drink less of it. I hereby limit my intake of all caffeinated or previously-caffeinated-but-since-decaffeinated-by-means-of-polluting-streams-and-rivers-with-said-caffeine beverages to a MAXIMUM of four cups per day. I'm hoping to average just two cups per day, but I know some mornings are tougher than others, so I'm gonna set my max high enough to accommodate those days.

Now this really is starting to feel like a masochistic change. First I give up the soda in an effort to reduce waste and now I'll be drinking less iced tea in an effort to reduce the caffeine. Jangling Jehoshaphat, what the hell is left?! Water?! No way I'll be drinking that shit. Have you heard what's in it?!?!?! ;-)

#194 - Decaffalon

Reducing My Caffeine Intake (and Output)

So have you all had a chance to read last week's article in the Washington Post about the various pharmaceuticals, disinfectants and caffeine found in tap water? I finally did and it was enlightening. or disturbing. I get those confused sometimes.

Also? Yesterday? I learned from Fake Plastic Fish that March is National Caffeine Awareness Month. Now I feel much more aware. A couple more cups of coffee and it will really sink in.

Anyhow, after reading the article and Beth's post, I decided to do my part to help reduce the concentration of chemical candies in our drinking supply. I'm going to start by reducing my caffeine intake to the bare minimum so that my caffeine output is thereby reduced.

So from here on out, I'll be drinking only half-caff morning java (give me a break - I've got two kids, I need a little morning jolt). Any coffee shop purchases will be decaf and my iced tea will also be of the decaffeinated persuasion. If I eat out, I'll opt for non-caffeinated bevvies like milk, lemonade, Sprite or cider. I wish I could tell you I'm also giving up chocolate but, well, that would be a big, fat lie. I love my chocolate and I don't care if it makes me piss cyanide, you'll never take it away from until you pry it from my cold, dead hands. And even then I will come back and haunt you. Because I'm vengeful like that.


Savings:

I'll be reducing my caffeine intake by roughly 50%. I don't know how that will affect my output, but once I get the urinalysis report back, I'll let you know. (that's a joke, btw - I don't actually do urinalysis reports for my blog. I use home blood tests, they're more reliable.)


Difficulty Level: 2 out of zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz