RANT

Notes I wish I had the balls to leave:

Dear Inconsiderate, Selfish Bitch;

Just a note to let you know that you have once again parked your minivan in the handicap parking space at preschool. That's right - HANDICAP - as in physically disabled or impaired.

Despite what you might think, that little logo on the blue background is not a depiction of you and your round, lazy ass. Nor is it a crude representation of you sitting on a throne with the world revolving around you.

I notice that you have parked your vehicle practically sideways (I'm assuming this is to indicate to the rest of us that you are in a great rush). However, taking up TWO handicap spaces at one time gives the appearance that you either you are a double-giant asshole or are drunk.

I get it. You're busy. Guess what? So are the rest of us. We're moms. We're ALL busy. We ALL have errands to run, laundry to wash, and houses to clean. You're not quite as special as you might think.

Also, I can't help but notice your lovely designer track suit, expensive sneakers and bouncy ponytail ensemble. I'm guessing you're hurrying off to an important meeting at your fancy gym. Which makes your parking choice seem not only thoughtless, but also a tad ironic.

In the future, please refrain from parking your smug ass in spaces legally allocated for the physically disadvantaged. After all, I'd hate for some angry eco-dork to park behind you and accidentally block you in.

Not that I would do that.

I hope you fall off your treadmill and have to wear an ankle-to-crotch leg cast. At least then you'd be able to park here legally.

XXXOOO

Burbanmom

And Speaking of Numbers...

Here's a little brain-teaser for you.

Suppose Sally orders a replacement cord for her laptop on January 11, which is a Friday. She pays an extra $13 for two-day shipping. When will Sally recieve her cord?

A. On the 13th, because two-days means "TWO DAYS"
B. On the 15th, because two-days means "TWO DAYS, EXCLUDING WEEKENDS"
C. On the fourth of NEVER because the laptop replacement cord people have a severe case of THE SUCKS.

Oy.

So the replacement cord arrived today. I was positively giddy with excitement as the Fed Ex man pulled away. I tore open the package and pulled out the adapter while doing my little "happy dance". I ripped my old cord from the wall and plugged in the new one.... only to find the damn thing doesn't fit my laptop!!!!

GRRRRRRR. So after a half hour on hold I finally get some chick who is nice enough, but tells me that's the only replacement cord they sell for my model and that it should fit. Yes, because I'm an absolute freakin' moron and don't know how to stick a cord in a hole. Give me a break.

So it's going back tomorrow. In the meantime I'm going to check Circuit City and Best Buy and see if they have anything in stock. Wish me luck.

Frick.

Supplemental Post - WTF?!?!?!?!

OK, now I'm wondering why I don't write MORE letters to the editor. Here's another local article that has me scratching my head in bewilderment.

Chesterfield to try vulture harassment; extermination still an option
From NBC12 News

At last night’s Chesterfield Board of Supervisors meeting, residents and officials discussed what could be done about the destructive vultures at the Dutch Gap conservation area.

The Board of Supervisors said whatever option they choose to handle the birds, it's going to be costly. The vultures have been hanging around Dutch Gap for years, eating the rubber off the outside of vehicles.

Chesterfield - along with the USDA - wants to use intense harassment to drive the vultures away for good. This alternative to killing the birds would cost about $5,000, but officials say killing the vultures would still be the last resort.

"We would like to find a way to not have to kill the birds,” said Mike Golden of Chesterfield Parks and Recreation. “We have the Dutch Gap conservation area - 800 acres. The county has invested working with wildlife all that we can.”

Chesterfield County and the USDA plans to start the intense harassment at the end of the month. The USDA says that even if that method works, the county would have to continue the harassment to keep the birds away for good.


OK, well, at least I now know where the county wil be using all the money it's saving on the recycling ban. Is it just me or has someone changed the definition "conservation area"? Apparently, they are trying to conserve vehicles. OMG WTF?!?!?!?!!?

Supplemental Post - Site of Interest...

Or At Least, A Site of Amusement...

I thought some of you might get a kick out of this site. Someone posted it on my Compact group and it presents the argument against carbon-offsetting in a very amusing manner.

Enjoy! :-)

Day Sixty - Packing Nuts - Part II

How to Deal with a Packing Nut

Please see the disclaimer from yesterday's post. Note: I am STILL ranting!

To help avoid dealing with Packing Nuts, I think the best defense is a good offense. When shopping online, you will almost always be presented with a field box labeled "comments or special shipping instructions" on one of the checkout pages. Don't be shy, let them know before they ship your product what you expect of them. If you don't want them to use any plastic packaging -- say so. If you don't feel that your paperback book needs cushioning -- tell them. Odds are they will honor your request.

If, however, they choose to ignore you, remember that you can always return the product - with an explanation, of course. Other options include sending them an email, giving them a call or sending them a strongly-worded letter. Those can be really fun (and therapeutic) to write! Also, marketing analysts estimate that every letter received represents about 1,000 consumers. It's no wonder then that most companies collect this feedback and use that information to make changes to their products or services.

Don't forget to help other eco-conscious consumers know what they're in for by leaving packaging information in the customer review section (when available). If you asked the company to use minimal packaging and they ignored your request, make sure you put that info in the review. Maybe it's too late for your package, but it may influence other buyers, which, in turn, will get the company to take notice.

Sometimes, not matter how you try to avoid it, you're going to get packages from Packing Nuts. What's a girl/guy to do with all those non-biodegradable packing peanuts, plastic bags and enormous boxes? Well, you don't have to throw them in the trash, that's for sure. The simplest sollution is to re-use them yourself. If you e-Bay occasionally, ship Christmas Gifts to Grandma, or are planning on moving anytime soon, you may be able to put them to good use.

Another option would be to let someone else reuse your packing materials. There are a lot of individuals and companies who will gladly take these supplies off your hands! Put a post on craigslist or freecycle for "free moving boxes" or "free packing supplies". If you prefer to dump-and-run, check your local Mailboxes, etc., UPS Store, Postnet or eBay store. Most of them will be happy to take your clean packing materials and put them to good use.

Your last option is to recycle. If you can't find anyone willing to take that big cardboard box, at least curb it for recycling. Unfortunately, packing peanuts are not generally accepted at municipal recycling centers, however, if you really can't find anyone else willing to take them, you can send them via snail mail to RecyclePackingPeanuts.com and they will put them to use.

Just remember that you are the customer and, theoretically, you can request that they limit packing materials be used. Don't be afraid to speak up, and, when necessary, take your business to another company -- one with a greater eco-conscience.

Thank you all for enduring my two day rant on the inefficiencies of modern packing & shipping. I think I've gotten it all out of my system and should be back to normal tomorrow.

Day Fifty-Nine - Packing Nuts - Part I

Minimize Packing Materials When Sending Packages

Note to Readers: Occasionally I get a little irked by the actions of others and I really just need to rant. You will be still find some helpful information but mostly I'll be bashing the offensive person or company.

As a costumer who sews garb for the Very Merry Seamstress, and as an e-Bay seller extraordinaire, I send out a lot of packages. I do my best to be a responsible shipper. I strive to reduce the amount of packaging I use, to reuse materials whenever possible and to package in recyclable materials.

Other individuals and companies, however, seem to take over-packaging to the extreme and become, what I like to call "Packing Nuts". I received a package today from one such nut.

Remember when I talked about wanting to get some dryer balls? Well, since I already fell hard off the Compacting wagon this past month, I decided to order some balls from Amazon. My Nellie's Dryer Balls arrived today, shipped to me from Snow's Home and Garden. Here's what I bought (description & picture straight from Nellieslaundry.com):

Nellie's™ Dryerballs are designed to reduce drying time and soften fabrics naturally without using chemical fabric softeners. As Nellie's™ Dryerballs tumble around in the dryer they lift and separate fabrics allowing air to flow more efficiently thus reducing drying time up to 25%. Saves time and money! The unique design of the Dryerballs nodules relaxes the fibers during the drying cycle. Clothes feel softer and towels are more absorbent. We stand behind all of our products 100%. Nellie's™ Dryerballs come with a two year buy back guarantee.

OK, so if I'm reading this right, the idea here is that these plastic balls, which are the consistency of a dog chew toy, will get tossed into my dryer and slam around in there up against my laundry and the stainless steel dryer walls. They will perform this function once a day, every day, for two whole years without sustaining any damage, or I will get my money back.

And yet, when I received my tough-as-nails balls today, here is what I found. The package itself had been tightly wrapped in a plastic bag and taped shut. Perhaps this was to prevent water damage, because, you know, dryers are NEVER DAMP! That waterproof wad was then placed in a very strong corrugated cardboard box that was twice the size of the original package. To fill these damaging voids of potentially damaging, um... AIR, they filled every nook and cranny with those damn Styrofoam packing peanuts! ARRRRRGGGG!!!

Please, please, please if you ship items anywhere, follow some rules to ensure your packages are eco-friendly. Here's how I apply the three R's to shipping:

• Reduce - If you don't need to put items in a plastic bag first, then don't. If you don't need to include notes, invoices, paper, etc., then don't. And if you don't need to cushion the product with fillers, then don't!
• Reuse - Who cares if the box was used before? Cover up or rip off the old label and slap a new one on. It's a box for God's sake, once you're over the age of 3 you're supposed to be more interested in the actual contents.
• Recycle - Make sure you use recyclable materials. If you must wrap an item in plastic, use either biodegradable bags or #2 plastic bags. If you use packing peanuts (or work for a company that does), use the new corn-based biodegradable packing peanuts.

Again, I already try my best to be a responsible shipper, so this post doesn't really net me any savings. However, if you alter the way you ship things based on the information in the post, let me know so I can take the credit :-)

All joking aside, if you work for a company that ships products, take the time to do some research for your shipping manager and help him or her find ways to reduce the environmental impact of their shipping activities. This is a chance for you to make a really big difference. This means you, Shanny! :-)