RANT

Notes I wish I had the balls to leave:

Dear Inconsiderate, Selfish Bitch;

Just a note to let you know that you have once again parked your minivan in the handicap parking space at preschool. That's right - HANDICAP - as in physically disabled or impaired.

Despite what you might think, that little logo on the blue background is not a depiction of you and your round, lazy ass. Nor is it a crude representation of you sitting on a throne with the world revolving around you.

I notice that you have parked your vehicle practically sideways (I'm assuming this is to indicate to the rest of us that you are in a great rush). However, taking up TWO handicap spaces at one time gives the appearance that you either you are a double-giant asshole or are drunk.

I get it. You're busy. Guess what? So are the rest of us. We're moms. We're ALL busy. We ALL have errands to run, laundry to wash, and houses to clean. You're not quite as special as you might think.

Also, I can't help but notice your lovely designer track suit, expensive sneakers and bouncy ponytail ensemble. I'm guessing you're hurrying off to an important meeting at your fancy gym. Which makes your parking choice seem not only thoughtless, but also a tad ironic.

In the future, please refrain from parking your smug ass in spaces legally allocated for the physically disadvantaged. After all, I'd hate for some angry eco-dork to park behind you and accidentally block you in.

Not that I would do that.

I hope you fall off your treadmill and have to wear an ankle-to-crotch leg cast. At least then you'd be able to park here legally.

XXXOOO

Burbanmom