Wednesday, April 30, 2008

#214 - I Feel Like Hans Brinker - Part Deux

Pfixing the Pfaucet

Last Tuesday I talked about checking for leaks in all of our faucets and toilets. And this past weekend I tackled one of the offending springs: hubby's sink in the upstairs bath. Here's how it went down. Or, rather, how I went down. Under the sink, that is. Get your mind out of the gutter already, this is a family blog. (Actually it's not. If you're under the age of 13, please stop reading now. I tend to use foul language and inappropriate innuendo - and I wouldn't want to be teaching you things that you should rightfully be learning on the school bus.)

Anywhich, back to the sink. I did some research online and found that the most common reason for a leaky faucet is a bad washer inside the faucet - which can easily be replaced for just about the price of a cup of coffee. So I started ripping the sucker apart. I took off the bottom part where the water comes out. Nope, just an aerator there. I took off the stylish 80's knobby part that looks like a plastic star. Nothing there but a dead end. Finally, I tried the last remaining joint - the part where the handle meets the base. No go. I even had hubby give it a try. I swear that connection must have been welded shut. So that meant to fix the leak I'd have to replace the whole damn faucet.

I head down to the 'Depot and pick out another Pflashdance-Pflashback, star-shaped Pfaucet (hey, it may be butt-ugly, but at least it matches the other butt-ugly Pfixtures in the house). Apparently they either produced way to many of these or there's a bigger demand for Pfabulous Pfugly Pfixtures than I thought. It was also quite a bit more expensive than just a washer. It set me back $61. That's a lotta coffee beans, my friends.

I head on home, pull my pants down below the crack of my ass, and immediately start dismantling the old faucet. Demo is definitely my strong suit. I had that sucker outta there in under 10 minutes. Putting the new one in? Well, it probably would have been easier if I'd read the directions, but I stumbled through it and was done and cleaned up in under 90 minutes, start to finish. And that's with the help of my two special apprentices dropping pipe wrenches on my feet every two minutes and trying to crawl into the very small vanity with me while saying "Mommy, I helpa you?"

Long story longer, I was hoping to just replace a washer, but had to replace the entire faucet instead. :-( But, it's done and now it won't be a wasteful drip anymore. :-) I don't want to donate the old faucet to the Habitat ReStore though because it's a leaker. :-( But I will take it down to a local recycler so he can pull off the copper piping and other salvageable metals. :-)

It's just been a roller coaster of emotion as you can tell. Hopefully fixing the crapper won't be so Pfrustrating.


organicneedle said...

I love that you also have great helpers. Good work Snyder!

leslie said...

"...pull my pants down below the crack of my ass..."
You are tooooo funny.

Did the kids try to help by putting little cars or toys down the "nickle slot" ?

Crunchy Chicken said...

That's Pfucked up!

MamaBird said...

Awww, Crunchy beat me to it - you're pfucking hilarious, though. Love your MacGyver story (and the chorus of helpya Mommy?).

Anonymous said...

Your kids are Italian?