Wednesday, March 19, 2008

#195 - Caf-feined or Foe?

Doing a Total 180 on Yesterday's Post

Wow. Am I the worst environmentalist or what? I've apparently taken "lazy" to a new extreme and have decided that brain power is just too much work. I got called on my post yesterday for it's high "DUH" factor. And I wasn't undone by some really obscure study done on the affects of embryonic sperm whales in Scandinavia. I got hit with Wikipedia. The "How The Whole Fruckin' World Works for Dummies"

You may recall (if you're not on vicadin) that my post yesterday was all about how I was going to switch to decaffeinated beverages in an attempt to remove caffeine from our streams and rivers. Luckily for me, my friend Leslie quickly pointed out that decaffeinated beverages don't magically grow that way, they are processed that way. And in during that process, where does the caffeine go? Well it's not the land of faeries and nimps as you might have guessed. No sir, it gets washed away into streams and rivers.

I'm chalking this monumental brain fart up to "low caffeine levels" and, in an effort to be less stupid, I will continue to drink my high-test coffee. I will just drink less of it. I hereby limit my intake of all caffeinated or previously-caffeinated-but-since-decaffeinated-by-means-of-polluting-streams-and-rivers-with-said-caffeine beverages to a MAXIMUM of four cups per day. I'm hoping to average just two cups per day, but I know some mornings are tougher than others, so I'm gonna set my max high enough to accommodate those days.

Now this really is starting to feel like a masochistic change. First I give up the soda in an effort to reduce waste and now I'll be drinking less iced tea in an effort to reduce the caffeine. Jangling Jehoshaphat, what the hell is left?! Water?! No way I'll be drinking that shit. Have you heard what's in it?!?!?! ;-)

5 comments:

gregra&gar said...

Where do you think they put the extracts taken to make low calorie yogurt or light beer. Fight Club made soap from fat ladies' asses.

Fake Plastic Fish said...

I thought your post yesterday was about peeing in a coffee mug.

Champagne goes good with Vicodin.

Mmmmmmmmm........

leslie said...

My favorite motto is...

Do all things in moderation
as often as you can.

Yep, the benzene, methylene chloride, ethyl acetate stuff used to decaf coffee just puts me off.
I was already having trouble getting the waitpersons to not try to convince me that the powdery stuff was as good as cream...

My other favorite motto...
What would wiki do? :)

Shannon Hodgins said...

I actually feel better since I've tried to decaf my life. My weakness was coffee- - -and lots of it.

Yes, the former smoker, coffee chugger is now so smoke free and drinking green tea. I can't believe it.

I used to drink like, um, 6 cups a day. Now I'm one in the morning and green tea through the day. I feel better and I'm using much less coffee. So much that I can now buy the fair trade kind.

innercitygarden said...

I just have two shots of really good quality organic fair trade coffee a day. Every day. I'm hopelessly addicted. But two is the limit, for my health, the budget, & the planet.

Maybe cordial? Home made organic lemonade? Herbal teas? It's easy to grow heaps of mint.