Wednesday, January 2, 2008

#150 - Dodging the Draft

got drafts?


Our front door is beautiful, if I do say so myself - which I just did, for those of you who like the play-by-play. It is a Craftsman-style, heavy, mahogany slab with six stained-glass, square lights on top, in two rows of three. The single most important word in that description?

Heavy.

It is so heavy that it continually sags and poor hubby has rehung the damn thing more times than I care to count. But it's nine. Nine times.

All this hanging and re-hanging, chiseling, hammering, pounding and drilling has somehow left us with a sizable gap under the behemoth, through which the cold winter air blows like Louis Armstrong in a jazz quartet. Hubby has already tried to mitigate this gap by attaching one of those metal, floor scraper thingies. While this does keep the the rain and missionaries from getting through, it did little to impede the wind's progress.

Enter Crafty Erin's Homemade Draft Dodger.

Keep in mind, here, that I am a professional seamstress, folks, and some of you might just not be able to duplicate my fabulous design and intricate stitchwork. Try not to be jealous.

Here's how you can make your own:

1. Go to fabric store and purchase a quarter yard of whatever obnoxious fabric you like. I opted for something fuzzy, since scientific studies have shown that fuzzy = warm and warm stops cold. Also, rock beats scissors.

2. Fold the fabric in half lengthwise and inside out, so it looks like a long snake with his skin on the inside.

3. Stitch up one of the short ends and the long side.

4. Carry it over to your door and figure out how much to cut off the end to make it the right length, because God forbid you actually measure your door. Leave it a little long, though, cuz you're bound to screw something up before it's over.

5. Turn your snake rightside out and fill it with beans or rice or whatever makes you happy - but doesn't attract rats. Because this snake will not eat rats. I opted for Great Northern Beans because they're from the north and, ipso facto, are used to the cold. Also? They're great. Says so right on the package.

6. Sew up the open end.

7. Toss in front of drafty door. Reposition as necessary. Don't let the kids beat each other with it. Unless they can do it quietly and the loser will be willing to lay down in front of the door to stop future drafts.

Or

If you don't have a sewing machine and need a draft dodger, drop me a note and I'll whip one up for you. I'll have to mail it to you empty, though, so you can choose your own beans. That's a very personal decision. I'll leave one end open so you can fill it yourself and just tie a knot in the end. Tres chic.

Anyhow, if you want one, email me at erin AT verymerryseamstress DOT com. Hope you can decipher that secret code. Supposedly it thwarts the spammers, but I'm betting they now search for the words "AT" and "DOT". At least they would if they were smart. Of course, If I were smart, I'd know how to put a link in for that. Blogger Writing Level: Preschool

Savings:

I've gotten lazy on vacation here. Let's just say the furnace doesn't kick on quite as much as it used to.

Difficulty Level: 1 out of 5

The kids helped with this one. Both of them. 'nuff said.

4 comments:

Fake Plastic Fish said...

I would LOVE one! I will pay you for it and the postage as long as there's no plastic involved! But question: will my new kitties attack it? Probably. So okay, the worst that could happen is they get a cool new toy and we are still using an old rolled-up rug in front of the door.

Burbanmom said...

OK, now here's the trick. Since I'm not so great with the blogspot fancy stuff, I'm just gonna post my email addy here and hope I don't get loaded with even more spam than I already do. Go ahead and email me your mailing address and I'll ship one out. Don't worry about postage - I have lots of stamps :-). And of course, I wouldn't DREAM of wrapping it in plastic -- especially not yours, Beth! erin AT verymerryseamstress DOT com

Green Bean said...

Girl, you crack me up with the missionary comment. :D

Leslie said...

I agree with green bean! Erin, you are one funny gal!
It does appear, though, as if that cow is trying to m...oooze in under the door.